Tuesday, June 2, 2009
So with everybody now being brought into the fold here, there are alot of questions coming up. Since this blog is being left to explain alot of this stuff I thought that I might come up with a faq sheet, all answers are from my perspective.
1. What is being transgendered?
(a) Being transgendered is a difference between ones presented gender and there true inner feeling. There are loads of ways how being trans effects people. In my case The division between how I was born and how I think and percieve myself is so great that I am going through a gender shift to bring the mind and body into alignment. It sounds way out there but, this stuff, if ignored can really have some negative effects on your life.
2. How long have you known?
(a) Since I was about 8 or 9 years old. I kept it to myself because at first I didn't understand it, and then I thought that it may have a pretty awful effect on my life.
3. Could I just be gay? (a) NO, is the short answer, being transgendered has nothing to do with sexuality. It sounds funny to say that, but it's true. I have a girlfriend, I'm quite happy with her.
4. How does it effect you? (a) I've had a secret for most of my life. Everybody that I met, worked with and was related to, I had thought that in the back of my mind, I'd lose them all when and if they found out. So I was always a bit guarded around anybody.
It also made me a bit frustrated, it's tough when you brain says go in one directions and the world says go in the other.
It also started making me really sick. I was getting all kinds of problem from not dealing with these issues. All of the illnesses have gone since I decided to step out from the shadows.
5. Why go through it all? (a) Well, I tried doing nothing, I tried running, but no matter where I ran, there I was. A typical thing that happens in transpeople is that over time the division screams to be dealt with. If you don't deal with it your life can ground to a halt, through sickness and mental issues. So in short it would suck to do nothing.
6. What processes do you have to follow? (a) The Harry Benajmin Standards of Care is what the team of Drs that I work with follow. Its full of checks and balances to make sure that I'm doing the right thing. Google Harry Benjamin Standards of Care to read them.
7. How many Drs are involved? (a) Well there is my counsellor, My GP, my endocrinologist, a shrink and two surgeons all following the same standars of care.
8. Are there medical Standards or can anybody do this? (a) There are strict medical standards including the official diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder by two qualified professionals with expierience in dignosing comorbid conditions.
9. What surgeries are in your future? (a) Ok I get this one alot. There are two surgeries in my future. The first is the GRS surgery. The GRS or Gender reassignment surgery is considered the biggy. The second is called facial feminization surgery, this is where the masculinizing features of my face are altered.
10. Are you on Hormones? (a) yes, I take an antiandrogen and estradiol. My blood chemistry is no diiferent than a natal females now.
11. What are the risks of hormones? (a) any HRT treatment has risks, thrombosis, breast cancers etc, however the risks are nothing compared to the very real illnesses that were starting to set in on me.
12. How do the hormones effect you?
(a) Softer features on my face, different distribution of body fat, softer hair, body hair disappearing, and a much calmer disposition and breast development.
13. What reactions have people had? (a) For the most part they have been supportive and positive, only my ex seems to be struggling, but there are issues outside of this that are at play. I only wish her well. Other than that everybody has been really great, it's been the greatest part of all of this. Everybody from my family to friends and relatives has been great as well as my place of work.
14. How has your family taken it?
(a) My parents and Brother and immediate family are supportive and get on well with it, the farther reaches of the family are good too. Like I was saying there is very very little negative for me.
15. You have a girlfriend and step kids, whats up with that? (a) I let her know from the beginning and I talked to the kids individualy, they know that I am around for the long haul, so they are good with it. I ask the kids from time to time how its going they haven't said anything.
16. How long does it take?
(a) About 2 years
17. What does it cost? (a) About $50,000, is it worth it? Yep
18. Where are the surgeries done? (a) The GRS surgery will be done in Montreal, the facial surgery will be done in montreal as well, but I may switch that one, stay tuned.
19. Is the adjustment difficult? (a) It could be worse, I'm in the shit part now, The time when I'm shifting between genders is a bit awkward, but not too bad.
20. Do people give you a hard time? (a) I haven't noticed, I've only heard one person make a comment, I thought Corrina may come unglued at them, it didn't bother me at all. I get alot of double takes, they are kinda funny to be honest.
21. How does being trans effect you at work? (a) I have the great boss and work collegues ever, my private clients are really cool too. I have told them all.
22. What does the future hold for you and Corrina? (a) a long future, we are developing more and more each day, we are both very happy.
23. How did you come up with your new name? (a) My mum picked Mikayla, my work collegues picked Jocelyn, I like them both.
24. When does your name change? (a) in late July 09, so this year.
25. Will your birth certificate and passport change? (a) Yes, they will change the name in July and the gender designation after the GRS surgery.
26. How will all this effect you personally? (a) It all seems to be for the better. I am happier than I have ever been. I am open with everybody, it's nice to be out of the shadows.
27. What do the kids think? (a)I talked with them, they are cool with it, they ask the odd question. They tell their friends , we live in a very tolerant place.
28. What has this taught you about people? (a) I've learned that people are alot more tolerant and understanding and smarter than I thought. Really in the world it's the people who lack education and sophistication that have a hard time with it all.
29. How Functional will everything be after surgery? (a) I've been told that 100%. Excluding the reproductive stuff.
30. How come you waited so long? (a) Fear of losing everybody in my life, it never happend.