Thursday, September 3, 2009
One of the things that I have struggled with, in this whole transition, is in giving myself permisssions to make the changes that I want to make.
I'm basically kind of a shy person. I have been the biggest impediment to getting this stuff done.
It's not any kind of subconsious mumbo-jumbo. The basic thing is I am just shy.
I thought that I would write about it because I can't be the only one. It's funny because once I have actually made a change or given myself permission to do something I'm actually fine with it
Most of the permission constipation comes from my outward appearence. Going to counselling is no big deal for me. Going to various doctors and explaining myself is no big deal. I write about this stuff and I talk endlessly about it. I actually have no problem outing myself to anybody. I work in the media, it's kinda screwy.
Don't get me wrong, I am getting better at this stuff all the time and I do press ahead, because I know that once I make a change that I feel all the better for it. I just find it curious that it's some of the little things, like wearing a more feminine shirt or a skirt that I get all shy about. I do wear them , no problem but it is funny none the less.
This is my struggle, oh well things could be way worse I suppose.
PS I'm not in the picture
I have long hair, I haven't worn mens anything in about 16 months, I guess because I really need to find my fashion feet. I watch alot of people to get tips. The funny part is that being in Canada is probably part of the problem too. From my travels I have learned that we Canadians, especially us westerners, are fashion challenged.
I'm doing my best to learn. I like to look good, with some courage I will.