Wednesday, October 7, 2009
When I left Ireland I remember looking out the window as we took off, watching the farm fields of county Antrim passing beneath me, getting ever smaller. I remember how it felt to be leaving Ireland, leaving the comfort of what I had for alot of unknowns in Canada.
I'm feeling the same thing now, in this transition. I can feel myself getting farther away from the guy that I have tried to be. I'm watching old habits and vesteges of being a guy fade away.
With my name changing, I'm rarely hearing Mike anymore, and when I do I just sounds foreign. The hormones are doing their job as well.
The funny part for me is that throughout this transition I really haven't had much stress about it, but I'm starting to feel a bit of it now.
Like me on the airplane leaving Ireland, I'm getting farther away from the known and I'm heading to the unknown. Just like then the stress of facing the unknown is tempered by the adventure of starting fairly fresh.
I know that I am fairly far along in this whole transition to be finally noticing this, but for me I'm just really noticing that I'm not a guy anymore, and the world is not really seeing me as a guy anymore. It's great, it's exactly what I want, but wow is it strange to feel.
I guess if this journey was a flight from Ireland to Canada I'd be past Greenland and entering northern Canada.
I'm definitely now ready to get on with some of the more major changes.